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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24714379">Threads</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesweetsaddict/pseuds/thesweetsaddict'>thesweetsaddict</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Biting, Dry Humping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Explicit Consent, First Kiss, First Time, Hand Jobs, Lots of Crying, Love Confessions, M/M, Neck Kissing, Spit As Lube, Struggling to Keep Quiet, embracing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:33:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,325</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24714379</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesweetsaddict/pseuds/thesweetsaddict</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"The red string has grown thin, please remend it; along with my heart. "</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Itsuki Shuu/Kagehira Mika</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Threads</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tonight was the night; it had to be tonight. The time at which it would all unravel. Valkyrie, their codependence, their relationship, and his feelings. They would come undone like cut threads, spilling into pools on the floor. He had to do it though. He had to sever the red thread that he had tied so tightly around Mika’s throat.</p><p> </p><p>Shu had meant to tell him much earlier in the day, especially if it went how he thought it would, but after staying in the club room much later than he had planned, the sun had already set. However, no matter how many times he had tried to bring up the topic throughout the day, he could never do it. He had made the grave, and beyond stupid mistake to leave Mademoiselle at home that day; believing he didn’t need her help. Nervous and maybe more than slightly terrified, he ended up staying quiet the whole time, causing Mika to panic and hover over him only making his condition worse. While Mika’s care and concern would normally be secretly welcomed, today it was not. It was a painful reminder that very soon, that love would be gone, along with him. In fact he was so anxious about the whole ordeal that he had ended up sticking himself with the needle multiple times, something he hadn’t done since he was a child. He could feel himself falling back into his childhood habits and wretched version of his past self.</p><p>Whenever Mika had asked him if he was ready to go home, without thinking, Shu would decline. Going home meant the beginning of the end, but all good things had to end eventually. With Mika getting increasingly worried every minute, he eventually gives in. While Shu could let himself suffer in the fear of the unknown, Mika was much different and it was overtly cruel to make him distressed. Although it wasn’t as though he didn’t cause him anguish every moment he was by his side anyway. The same sharp burst of pain that he had felt at his fingertips throughout the day now did the same to his heart. Taking a deep breath, Shu stands up to gather his things as Mika’s head perks up to quickly do the same, understanding without being told that they were departing.</p><p> </p><p>The walk home was nothing special, Shu barely even remembered it. If Mika had said or done anything it was drowned out by the numbness in his head. Before he knows it they’re home and while that would normally bring him comfort, instead it suffocates him with fear. (Just get it over with...just... get it over with…) They linger in the entrance way before Shu takes a sharp inhale turning his face away from view. Mika tracks him with his eyes before speaking. “Oshi-san…” Shu’s voice shakes as he responds, not daring to make eye contact. “Follow me.” Pulling his bag higher onto his shoulder, Mika does as he’s told as they begin walking up the stairs.</p><p> </p><p>Shu counts each step to try and ground himself. (1...2...3...4….5…...6……) The gap grows larger with each number as he can feel himself getting light headed. (Just get into the bedroom, just make it to the top of the steps, the next few, this last step.) He grabs onto the railing as his legs feel weak; Mika notices his struggle immediately. “Oshi-san! Are ya okay?! Here let me help ya-” Mika places his hands onto Shu’s waist and he flinches immediately, perhaps a bit too hard as he nearly falls back, Mika catches him though pulling him up. “H-here let’s get ya into yer room...ya haven’t been lookin’ too good all day so maybee yer sick...you should take it easy....” (Ah, so I’ve looked like hell the whole day too?) Of course it wouldn’t go unnoticed, but Shu had thought he was at least semi decent at hiding it but apparently not. Though he felt like a child being dragged back to his room it was for the best as he more than likely would have collapsed if he tried to continue by himself. His mind races, focusing on the soft but firm grasp of Mika’s hands around him and the ever growing anxiety dulling the back of his skull.</p><p>Mika leads them down the hall to Shu’s room using his shoulder to ease open the door with a loud creak before using his elbow to hit on the light switch. He’s surprised Mika is even able to support him when he’s so much weaker and smaller than him but as more of Shu’s body gives out so does Mika’s as he has to practically drag him to the bed. He tries setting him down gently but ends up dropping him instead, Shu hitting the mattress with a grunt. Shu stares at the ceiling feeling like the whole world is spinning and he wishes nothing more than to close his eyes to escape in that moment.</p><p>“Oshi-san yer really worryin’ me...do ya want a glass of water or-” Shu speaks with his voice strained as he starts to sit up. “N-no there’s no need…” He gets up, fully sitting on the bed now hand at his temple. Mika slowly lowers himself to sit on the bed, leaving space between them. “D-do ya wanna be alone or…” Shu moves his hand into his bangs trying to clear his head. He opens his mouth to try and speak but no words come out.</p><p>(Stay here...please don’t leave me just yet.)</p><p>Brows furrowing in concern, Mika watches him before shifting to get off the bed.</p><p>(No wait…)</p><p>All he can produce is a strained grunt in the back of his throat as Mika turns back to look at him. Hearing the struggle in his voice, he assumes that Shu needs some help talking. “Do ya want Madonee? Here lemme-”</p><p>“No-!”</p><p>Shu finally speaks, although he ends up barking harder than he meant to as he grabs onto Mika’s sleeve. No, this was something he needed to do by himself. He clears his throat looking down as he begins to talk again, although his pitch is so faint it is barely audible. “N-no I...stay here…” Mika’s eyes widen as he sits back down and shifts closer, lowering his voice to Shu’s level. “...’kay…” Shu can feel the anxiety building inside of him, threatening to push him over the edge. “I um…I need to….I-I have to tell you...something…” Panic also sets in for Mika as he looks at the crown of pink hair lowered to him. “Y-yer makin’ me nervous Oshi-san…” He knows, but Shu has never been good with his words and it is especially bad now, maybe it would be better with Mademoiselle... No, he can’t rely on her forever. He forces himself to start talking even if he just dances around the point and ends up repeating what was just said. “K-Kagehira I...have something I would like to discuss... with...you…” He stays silent, patiently waiting for Shu to continue. (I’m causing him anxiety...God why can’t I just say it…?) Shu tries gathering up all of his courage and takes a sharp inhale but as he opens his mouth nothing comes out; suddenly he feels sick. His pupils dilate as his heart rate picks up, sending him into an anxiety attack. (No, no, no, not now...dammit not now!) His breath quickens and Mika, having seen this many times, knows exactly what to do. He swiftly, but calmly, reaches to the bedside to retrieve Mademoiselle and gently places her in Shu’s arms. He can feel the golden curls along his fingers and already begins to calm down. (God...I really am so pathetic…) Mika sits back on his knees looking down; Shu had always hated it if Mika watched him while he was having an episode but he also never wanted to be alone during those times.</p><p> </p><p>They sit there wordless for what seems like hours but can’t have been more than a few minutes. Color comes back onto Shu’s face as his heart rate no longer deafens him. With a shaky exhale he speaks and although he had intended to use his own voice, Mademoiselle does it for him. “Mika-chan...thank you for bringing me into Shu-kun’s arms...he is delicate and not good with asking for things you know?”</p><p>Mika exhales shakily, laughing softly. “Heh, ya I know…” Shu’s brows furrow as he looks down, playing with the trim of Mademoiselle’s dress. “You know Mika-chan...Shu-kun...he really cares about you.” Mika’s eyes light up slightly although the worry is still there. “Ehehe~ ya ain’t gotta tell me that Madonee; I already know~” He says it matter of fact, trying to mask the panic inside. Shu clears his throat as he shifts his head to the side. “Is that so...but...it’s more than you think Mika-chan.” He makes a confused sound as he tilts his head to the side.</p><p>“Nyah? ...What do ya mean?” Shu takes a deep breath. “Shu-kun...h-he really loves you, you know?” Mika’s breath catches as his expression sobers fully. His voice cracks as he speaks. “Y-ya... I also... really love Oshi-san…” Shu can feel his heart rate pick up again as his face becomes warm. “Y-you don’t say...? But it’s a bit different from what type of love you’re thinking of…” He peeks his head up to catch a glimpse, although it’s hard to see Shu because of how far his head is turned; Mika’s surprised he was even able to hear him in the first place. His expression sorrows as he looks back down. “Y-ya… ‘course...it’s not like ‘s romantic or anythin’ …” Clutching hard onto Mademoiselle’s dress Shu finally uses his own voice.</p><p>“No.” Mika lifts his head up and can now see just how red his face is. He’s about to ask if he wants the fan turned on or anything but Shu interrupts. “No it’s...n-not...just...p-platonic…” He stutters, the last word basically only being mouthed out. Mika’s eyes widen before mellowing down again as he laughs nervously. “Haha...what are ya sayin’ Oshi-san…?” Shu moves his hand to partially cover his face. (It’s now or never...now...or…) Mademoiselle once again interrupts his thoughts. “What Shu-kun is saying is that-” But he won’t let her this time.</p><p>“I’m saying that...I...I…….l-l-love…....y-you…”</p><p> </p><p>He did it. Although it came out broken and barely audible, he said it. Shu exhales shakily as he throws his head up to the ceiling lights. He needs something to bring him back into this moment; to ground him, even if it’s the burning in his eyes. Overwhelmed with relief, a new burning dares to poke at his eyes; he looks back down so that the light won’t trigger it further. (...What now?) Mika hasn’t said anything and instead only stares down at his hands. (Well it’s fine...I knew how this would end any-)</p><p>“Sorry but...could ya repeat yerself?”</p><p>(This idiot…)</p><p>Shu knows that he had heard him; feigning ignorance wasn’t a strong suit of Mika’s. He sighs with his eyes still closed. “You heard me, don’t play dumb.” With a newfound solace Shu gives into his mindstate. The relief will satisfy him for now before the embarrassment and fear dare to take him over once again. “D-Did I hear ya right…? That you...y-you like me…?” All Shu can think is “fuck it” because he is way too far gone at this point; he’s accepted long ago how this will end. He sets Mademoiselle back on the bedside table before turning to face him, making his voice clear.</p><p>“I love you, Kagehira.”</p><p>(Ah, I can feel it creeping in again…)</p><p>Before he can register it, he starts speaking, his thoughts spilling out of his mouth. “I love you, I have for quite some time now but it doesn’t matter because I already know how you feel.” Mika stutters, flustered. “Y-ya do…?” Shu sighs, lowering his eyes. “Yes...you don’t return my feelings. It’s completely understandable. After all... I don’t deserve you...not after how cruel I’ve been...” Mika cuts him off with an anger in his voice that Shu has only heard twice. Once when Nito left Valkyrie, and twice when he threatened to punch Tenshouin for bad mouthing him. Both times he had been defending him, but this time that same tone was directed at him and the fear sets in fully now.</p><p>“...You don’t deserve me? That’s a load of shit.” Shu's eyes snap open, shocked, before Mika continues, his tone spiking in volume with each word. “You...you saved me. You cared for me, gave me love, warmth, and happiness and yer saying I don’t deserve you? No...I’m the one who isn’t worthy...I’m a failure. I can’t do anything right. I’m clumsy, and don’t understand my emotions. I freak out in the simplest of situations and I can’t do anything without help. My own parents didn’t even-” Consumed by the ugliness of those words, Shu snaps at him. “Stop-!”</p><p>Reaching out and taking a hold of his hands forcefully, Mika’s brows furrow harshly. His face is a mix of anger and sorrow and one that Shu wishes he hadn’t seen. He softens his voice as much as he can before speaking. “Please I...can’t stand hearing you talk that way about the person I... l-love…” Mika places his hands over Shu’s, squeezing so tightly that his knuckles turn white as he sniffles on the tears that he is failing to hold back. “Yer really no fair Shu…” Shu flinches upon hearing his name. “Even though you’re perfect, smart and charming in every way...you really can be an idiot sometimes…” His mouth parts not expecting Mika to ever call him stupid.</p><p>“I-”</p><p>Mika snaps his head up to make eye contact, tears clearly visible at the corners of his eyes.</p><p>“I love you. I always have from the moment I met ya.”</p><p> </p><p>Shu pulls his head back slightly as his mouth parts, unable to form any words. He can feel his face heat up and pulse getting louder in his ears with every beat. (It...was mutual... but for that long...?) While he couldn’t pinpoint the exact time he began feeling the same, it certainly wasn’t that long ago... And suddenly it hits him like a train. The person, whom he now knew for certain he loved, he had treated as garbage and yet he still loved him throughout it all. He can feel himself choking up as he tries to remove his hands; he doesn’t think Mika should even touch him at this point. He has ruined him long ago and even if Mika says it’s fine, he deserves so much more than anything Shu could ever give him.</p><p>“...You...deserve someone so much better...I can’t ever repay you for what you’ve done for me...I never gave you anything in return and yet you stayed by my side even as I abused you everyday…” The words become more and more difficult to say as his throat burns with each breath. Mika’s grip loosens and Shu is able to free one of his hands to rub at his eyes in an attempt to berid the tears that haven’t even begun yet but that he knows will spill over soon. Mika breaks the silence with his voice low.</p><p>“‘F that’s how it is...then why even tell me?” Shu stops rubbing his eyes although he doesn’t look up. Why did he confess? It was again for none other than his own selfish desires. In an attempt to free himself of these feelings that had been suffocating him for so long. He didn’t even consider it a possibility that Mika would return his feelings. There's no way he could with how he treated him. Sure the admiration and fondness was there but love? It wasn’t possible...at least that’s what he had thought. The tears start properly coming out now as they fall onto his fingers still lingering at his eyes.</p><p>“I...I had to tell you before…” He tries clearing his throat but it barely has an affect on fixing his speech. “Before I...went abroad…”</p><p>There is no way Shu could face him now; he had just admitted that he is essentially running away from his problems, the very ones he himself had created. While there were a lot of reasons he had wanted to go abroad in the first place, he had specifically told Mika his feelings now so that he would resent him before he could tell him about his plans. If Mika came to hate him...then he wouldn’t break from being left behind. He still had a year left in school after all and Shu couldn’t drag him along to Paris. It had been building up for quite some time now, that he knew he’d have to cut his strings eventually. Now that Shu himself had fallen too far; he had to be rid of Mika, had to save him from himself.</p><p> </p><p>The force at which he was pushed down was much more than Shu expected Mika was capable of. His body falls into the mattress as Mika grips his wrists tightly, holding them nearly over his head. The figure above him consumes his body, leaving the light visible but hidden. The dulled ceiling light only looks like a crescent moon as it’s hidden behind Mika’s unruly hair. Shu’s eyes dilate as his breath catches. He can feel Mika trembling from how tight his grasp is and his frame shakes above him. Mika begins shaking trying to curl into himself, he starts sniffing and the back of his throat croaks. “K-Kagehi-”</p><p>“You really are so cruel Shu…” They make eye contact and in that moment Shu can feel his heart break. Tears stream down Mika’s now red face as his brows arch upwards in a pathetic, lamentable expression. He had officially broken. Shu can feel his own tears falling from the corners of his eyes as all he can do is stare back at those above him. Mika begins sobbing before crying out and turning his head into his chest as his hands squeeze so hard that they threaten to leave marks. Shu begins audibly crying as well now as he turns his head to the side. He has to say something no matter how much it hurts. “...I-” Mika cuts him off finishing his sentence for him. “‘m sorry...”</p><p>Shu snaps his head back up in an attempt to look at him but in an instant the once far shadow plummets towards him. Releasing one hand to grab his face, the shifting of the mattress cuts through the silence until Shu can only focus on one thing. The warmth. The sweetness. It takes him a good few seconds before he can realize what’s happening but he sees Mika, directly in front of him, eyes closed with tears at the edges, and he's kissing him. Feeling like he stopped breathing in that moment, he desperately tries not to let himself lose control but it’s too late. Despite what he knows he should do, he closes his eyes and pushes back into the kiss; accepting his fate.</p><p>(It’s over…)</p><p>The cold air burns against his wrist as Mika releases his other hand as he seemingly, shifts to pull back but the kiss doesn’t break.</p><p>(Why… Why even now does-)</p><p>His thought is cut off as Mika now grabs his face with both hands and starts frantically kissing him. He flushes immediately as his breath quickens. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5… he can’t even count how many times they kiss. He has to stop him or...he’ll melt. Shu tries fighting out of Mika’s grasp to turn his head.</p><p>(Please stop, I don’t deserve happiness with you…)</p><p>As he struggles he can feel something warm and wet at his lips. In shock he parts them and is immediately enveloped with heat. His tongue is overbearingly hot and the saliva is so cold and foreign it makes him twitch. It feels way too good and he can’t stop himself from moving his tongue to try and hold onto Mika’s. He can feel his voice trying to come out in the back of his throat and despite his hopeless attempts, it escapes. “Nn..h...nng…”</p><p>That seems to be the stopping point for Mika as he pulls back unraveling their tongues, a string of saliva leaving their mouths. They both pant heavily as Shu tries to hide his face into the side of his shoulder; his face burning. The tears drying on his face being replaced with new, wet ones, and some that don’t belong to him. Mika looms over him as his tears fall onto his cheek. He pulls his hands away from Shu’s face in order to cover his own. Shu lifts his head up to track him as he pulls back, falling to sit on his knees. Mika speaks through tears and hiccups on his breath.</p><p>“ ‘M sorry… ‘m sorry...I- I’m sorry…” Shu can't stand to be idle any longer and brings Mika into his arms, holding him properly. He lets one hand go down to his lower back and the other up into his hair as his fingers part to hold more of him. Mika freezes in his grasp still covering his face with his hands before struggling to shift them down and around Shu. Eventually grabbing onto him, curling his fingers to try and hold on tighter. He moves his head into the side of Shu’s neck which causes him to flinch slightly before settling down as Mika starts talking.</p><p> </p><p>“....Why?” He can’t respond and only nuzzles himself into Mika’s shoulder; gripping the back of his shirt tighter. “Ya said that you love me and yet...yer leavin me…” Shu trembles as he holds him before speaking in such a low voice that it’s a scratchy whisper. “I-if you came to hate me then...you wouldn’t have felt sorrowful…” He pauses taking in a deep breath. “I-it’s not that I want to leave you but..I want to leave Japan, the memories...my past...it’s all here and it’s suffocating…” He exhales, his breath becoming shaky from fear and emotion. Still clinging to him tightly, Mika lets him speak. “You’ll be ruined if you stay by my side... I had assumed that you... I didn’t think that you-” Mika cuts him off harshly. “That’s right, ya didn’t think.” Shu’s breathing hitches as the heat from Mika’s breath creates goosebumps along the side of his neck. “Ya didn’t think about my feelings at all...even though you normally do…”</p><p>Shu desperately wants to speak to agree with him that yes, he didn’t think about Mika’s feelings about this, about anything, and that he needed to apologize for it but instead his gut begins to heat up as he clings harder. Mustering up all of his strength, he tries to talk although it comes out slightly strained. “Y-you’re right I didn’t..think about your feelings at all I-” He shutters as he can feel Mika exhale into his neck; he’s becoming stimulated but he has to keep talking or he’ll never get it out. “I...only thought about myself...j-just like always...a-and I’m s-sorry…” He can’t tell what’s making it more difficult to speak, the excitement growing within him, or the anxiety of properly voicing his feelings. Mika nuzzles into his neck as Shu swallows down a sound. He breathes out as he speaks. “...Let me come with ya…” Shu rubs his face against his shoulder in disagreement. “N-no you still need to finish school...and you’d be better off without me-”</p><p>He's stopped as Mika breathes, this time intentionally, onto his neck. He shivers at the feeling, already being aroused. “W-what are you-” Mika places a wet, warm kiss onto the side of his neck and Shu sighs into his shoulder as he does. By now Shu is clutching onto him so hard that it’s creating wrinkles in the fabric of his uniform. He begins mouthing and kissing into the corner of his neck as Shu’s fingers twitch. “K-Kage...M-Mika...” Upon hearing his name, Mika opens his mouth wider to release his tongue so that it makes contact with skin. Shu audibly gasps out as Mika begins tracing along his neck with his tongue. He doesn’t even have time to think about quieting himself when the pace speeds up. “Hah...w-wait...nn...M-Mika…” Letting up with his tongue, Mika pulls back so that he can talk although he’s still lodged into the crook of Shu’s shoulder. “ ‘M not gonna let ya off so easily…” He moves back into kissing his neck; much deeper this time. Shu’s breath hitches again as his brows curve upwards into a shameful expression and his head involuntarily moves to the side to expose more of himself. Mika pushes himself against his body and, feeling as though he’ll melt any second, Shu falls back onto the bed with Mika still kissing and clinging to him.</p><p> </p><p>“W-why…? Nn...even after I- hah...s-said I’m leaving you…” Mika pauses to properly pull back and look at him. “Cause ya promised didn’t ya? ...That we’d be together until the depths of hell…” Shu averts his gaze before responding. ‘B-but you don’t- I don’t deserve-” Mika cuts him off immediately. “I love you, Shu. I want to be with you, can’t you see that?” He takes a deep breath before sighing. “Bein’ by yer side...that’s what makes me happy, what brings me joy. Despite what ya think... I can live on my own. I just can’t stand leavin’ yer side…” Shu’s eyes widen as he listens before attempting to speak. “B-but…”</p><p>“ ‘f I don’t deserve you, and you don’t deserve me...then doesn’t that cancel each other out?” All Shu can do is stare at him, as his brain can’t even form a sentence with everything racing through his mind. “I’ll be honest, since ya know I can’t lie ta ya...I know ya treated me poorly but I stayed with ya throughout it all ‘cause I knew what yer real intentions were...what yer real feelins’ were. Even though ya said those cruel things... I know ya’d never leave me; never let me go unloved. Bein’ yer doll is what made me happy since I know how much ya love ‘em...but...I can live as a human too. I don’t love you because I’m yer doll, I love you because I’m human.”</p><p>(Ah, this is bad... if he keeps talking like that…)</p><p>“That’s why…” Lowering himself closer, Mika hovers above his face. “That’s why even ‘f we are millions of miles apart, even if I can’t see or feel ya...we’ll always be together ‘til the end of this world comes...a-and even afterwards.” He pauses for a moment looking away. “S-so if ya feel the same then-”</p><p>Shu grabs at him desperately, pulling him down into a kiss much too sloppy for such an intimate confession. Mika fully lowers himself into Shu’s body, moving his knee between his legs to give himself leverage as he holds his face trying to pull him closer. Both of their breathing is audible and Mika lets out a small whimper. Shu can’t let go, and instead moves a hand down Mika’s back applying pressure along his spine with his middle finger. Mika tries to take a breath but just ends up pushing harder into the kiss as he shifts himself against Shu causing him to twitch, although it comes off more like a jolt as his neck snaps to the side and his leg jumps up momentarily. Mika kisses his cheek before using his hand to further move Shu’s head and uniform so that he can place himself back into his neck. He immediately begins licking up and down with the tip of his tongue before flattening it out to cover more ground. Being unwilling to let go and unable to cover his mouth, Shu lets out a low pitched groan that quickly spikes into a loud moan. Mika stops, coming to move Shu to face him. “ ‘s...is this okay? A-are you ok-”</p><p> </p><p>Shu brings him back into another kiss, albe short this time, before turning his head again and practically shoving him back into his spot, and Mika understands. Now tracing his hands along his chest and pushing his blazer to the side, he begins working his tongue around bare skin while switching between kissing and licking. Shu brings one hand up to his mouth, brows furrowing as he tries to quiet himself. Moving further down Mika starts from his collarbone and does one long lick up to his ear. Panting heavily, Shu let’s out another groan as Mika bites his ear softly, making him whine in turn. Moving back to the middle, he licks a large spot before turning his head and sinking his teeth into the side. Shu’s head snaps upwards at the pressure and he ends up accidentally pushing Mika’s pelvis into him with the arm resting on his lower back. Mika pulls back, surprised from the contact and gasps out for air before squirming and unintentionally, humping onto him. Shu tries to speak, his voice horse. “Nn..d-dont h-hump m- ah~!” He jolts and accidentally ends up properly pressing them together. They both moan loudly at the contact, chests heaving hard. Mika moves his hands up to stabilize himself over Shu, still pressed together moving ever so faintly. He can feel his eyes wanting to cross out of pleasure but controls his gaze before slurring out talking. “Hng...S-Shu ya feel so go-”</p><p>“D-don’t speak...nn..d-d- hah...m-move…” Unable to focus from just how good contact feels and how hot his face is, Mika pants as he tries to decipher what Shu just said. Don’t move? Or don't..move? He breathes heavily watching Shu squirm beneath him and struggle to keep himself quiet. Before he can think, he begins talking again despite being told not to.</p><p>“Hah...C-can I touch ya…?”</p><p>Shu throws a hand over his face to try and hide himself. “I-Idiot! ...D-don’t make me say it out loud…” His voice lowers at the end. Unfortunately the mischievous side of Mika would never rest, not even now. “Nn? I won’t understand unless ya tell me~” Shu moves his hand to try and give him a frosty gaze but upon remembering that Mika is currently on top of him as they are pressed together he changes his mind. He lowers himself into Shu’s chest, pushing them together once again. Mika groans as Shu’s breath catches. He moves his hands to remove the rest of Shu’s blazer and unbutton the first few buttons of his shirt, leaving a trail of kisses as he makes his way up to his ear, Shu twitching and whimpering with each one. Mika lowers his voice before barely audibly whispering into his ear. “I wanna hear ya say it...” If Shu wasn’t so turned on right now he’d flick his forehead but with all other options seemingly not even a possibility at this moment he takes a deep breath.</p><p>“...Yes...you can touch me…p-please touch me…”</p><p>Mika freezes at the last line before biting his ear hard and shoving his hands onto him. Shu heaves hard as he watches hands trace along his chest before making their way down. But instead of touching him Mika starts moving his hips slightly, simply using his hand to stabilize himself instead. He rocks back and forth as they both try to catch their breath although they fail to do so properly. Shu brings his hands onto Mika’s hips, holding them with purpose. Mika begins moving up and down painstakingly slow as to not overstimulate them although they both moan and pant wildly at the motion. Shu groans before speaking. “D-don’t mess around…d-do it properly…” Pausing his movements, Mika nods gently before moving his hips back from connection. He slowly moves his hand down until he palms over Shu’s crotch; his breath immediately catching as his brows twitch upwards harshly. “Ah~! Nn...J-just like that…” He stops temporarily as hearing Shu talk like that threatens to push him over the edge but he continues regardless. He isn’t sure what he’s doing so he simply lets the noises that Shu makes guide him. Shu gasps out desperately for air as his moans become more and more scratchy.</p><p>Moving back towards his face to kiss again, Mika feels Shu up gently, while kissing him deeply. He tries to envelope their tongues together again but Shu’s breathing is so rapid and heavy that he has to pull back to let him breathe. Mika tries to pull his hand away to give him a break, not wanting him to hyperventilate but Shu immediately groans in displeasure as he grabs Mika’s hand, shoving it back perhaps a bit too forcefully. From the sudden, more forceful pressure, Shu bucks his hips into Mika’s hand causing Mika to squeak upon feeling just how hard he was. Sure he felt it before but his hand was so lightly over him that he didn’t get to really feel just how heated he had gotten. Shu, still guiding his hand, moves it up to the rim of his pants before pulling back the seam and sliding both of their hands under. Though he was helplessly under what he thought was Mika’s control, he was taking much too long. The chill of his hand makes Shu tremble as he guides it further down.</p><p>Although he was the one being touched, Mika’s breathing had caught up to his previous pace with his face flushed heavily. Shu let’s his attention focus on him, watching as his brows curve upwards and his eyelids lower in pleasure. Seeing Mika like this, while also being heavily overstimulated and impatient, makes him take control as he grabs the front of Mika’s shirt to bring him into a kiss; meeting him halfway. Though he was enjoying himself greatly, he wanted to show Mika some of his love as well.</p><p> </p><p>Breaking from the kiss and moving their hands back into the open. He pushes lightly onto Mika’s chest as he sits them up to embrace like before. Using the same hand, he moves Mika’s head to the side to kiss his neck. Breath hitching, Mika starts falling into Shu, melting into him really. Moving his arms to properly hold him, Shu rubs small circles on his back. Mika is like putty in his arms as he can barely even hold him back, his arms hanging in the air like a doll. (Hmph, talking all big but you’re this sensitive…) Not that he minded though; he had always controlled Mika but letting him be free with pleasure in his arms was a much better feeling. Although there was one problem...he had never had sex. He knew about it of course but he had never gotten that close with someone before; hell, everything that they had done thus far was all new territory to him. Mika on the other hand...he had no idea how much experience he has had. Forget trying to ask him, that was out of the question entirely. While turned on and acting fully on lust he really wouldn’t know what to do when the time came and considering the pace they are going at, that time is fast approaching.</p><p>In spite of his cluttered mind he continues kissing his neck. Nothing that deep but just intimate kisses that linger and that seems to be good enough for Mika who is whining with each one. (I may be the one in the lead now but maybe if I just follow his movements like before…) Licking his lips, he parts them to let his tongue out. Mika gasps out as though he was taking his first breath in ages as he finally latches back onto him. He shakes and sputters breaths in his grasp as Shu lightly maneuvers his tongue along his skin. Opening his mouth more he gently bites him, making him whine. Turning his head, Mika nuzzles his face into the side of Shu’s neck which makes him stop momentarily, his breath is so hot that it practically burns him.</p><p>“Sh-Shu..” His voice is hoarse from lack of breath. Shu lets up to confirm.</p><p>“I-is this alright with you…?”</p><p>Mika laughs breathily. “ ‘Course it is…in fact…” He pulls back pressing their foreheads together. “C-could we go even further…?”</p><p>Shu freezes, considering how Mika acted earlier, him directly asking if it was okay came as a bit of a shock. As much as he wants to say yes, the thoughts from before come back. “D-do you understand the meaning behind your words…?” Mika pulls back slight embarrassment and confusion on his face. “Y-ya... I wanna-”</p><p>“No, not that.” Mika’s face scrunches up; his brows furrowing as he backs off. Looking down with his voice low, Shu voices his thoughts. “I’ll be going abroad soon...we won’t be together anymore. Valkyrie...our relationship...what will happen to it? If we go this far...what will become of us? ...We can’t revert things once we cross this line…” With his tone gentle, Mika speaks. “Are ya scared…?” Stopping again, Shu further averts his gaze. “I...perhaps in a sense... “ He takes a deep breath. “You’ve been with me for so long that if we were to become separated...if I were to ruin this then…” Mika cuts him off, his voice strict but calm. “Shu.” Meeting his gaze, Shu looks up. “Y-ya said that you love me right? And I said the same?” Head still held up, he looks away. “T-that is correct…” Reaching out Mika takes a hold of his hand. “Then isn’t it obvious what the next step is?”</p><p>His expression changes, confused. “A-...what are you saying…?” Mika breathes out a breathy laugh. “‘M saying we’ve already gone this far. I live with ya and we’ve been together non stop for almost two years now so... if we were to become lovers then...that wouldn’t be much of a change, yeah?” Eyes widening, Shu looks back at him. “L-l-lovers!? W-I just said that I’d be leaving you! Going even further means...means I won’t be able to run away anymore...” Mika cups his face as he speaks. “Then stop runnin’ ” Shu stares into his mismatched eyes in awe.</p><p>“I-I mean yea we don’t know how things will end...or if they will go aight but...at least fer now, we love each other and isn’t that good enough?” His mouth hangs open as he becomes lost in his thoughts. (For now...for this very moment...b-but is that really okay? The future...our future...Valkyrie’s future… We can’t guarantee any of it. After this… going even further... trying to stay with one another long distance...becoming...lovers... Dragging you down to hell with me...although, I suppose I did that long ago…) Mika notices he is spacing out but still holds him, gently moving his thumb over his cheek to bring him back. Shu blinks, focusing once again and as he does he is instantly met with gold and cyan, and only the words repeat back in his head. ‘I love you.’ Closing his eyes, he brings his hands up over Mika’s, holding them. “You’re right... Even if it’s only for this very moment, even if it leaves us burned and broken...even if this means the end… At this very moment I know that I love you... Mika.” The sorrowful air is broken as Mika kisses him quickly before pulling back and smiling. “Yeah! ...Plus I... kinda made up my mind long ago that I’d always be with ya…”</p><p> </p><p>Shu brings him back into another kiss, he was always better with actions rather than words after all. (I as well...I’ve made up my mind that I’d be by your side for eternity...Ah, I guess I’ve already dedicated my future to you then haven’t I?) He kisses deeper now, causing Mika to squeak before pushing back. This time it’s Shu who pushes his tongue against his lips and Mika opens them quickly, connecting their tongues. The kiss feels different from before. It’s not as scary, and the bitterness is completely taken over by the sweetness. It’s calming, and feels as though it was something that he should have been doing his whole life. He moves his hands into Mika’s hair pulling him closer and down so that they’re leaning against the pillows. Mika shifts himself, moving his legs over Shu to straddle him. Feeling the pressure, they both moan into the kiss. Their breathing becoming more and more ragged. Shifting himself again, Mika’s head snaps back as he chokes on a moan. Shu’s head is spaced out but he still panics.</p><p>“A-Are you alright?”</p><p>They both pant heavily as Mika speaks. “Nn...y-yeah just...a little sensitive I guess…” Bringing his hand up, Shu cups the side of his face while placing the other over his back to pull him closer; Mika whimpering as he does. Moving his hand to stroke his hair gently as Mika takes deep breaths. “S-sorry...this is just new fer me…” Shu pauses. While he tried not to think about it, he had always thought that Mika had some sort of experience, more than him at least. Mika notices him freeze up.</p><p>“Ya okay…?”</p><p>Clearing his throat briefly, he brings his attention back. “Y-yes I just...I thought that you…” Catching the last of his breath Mika looks at him confused. “D-did ya think I wasn-” Shu looks down immediately, he was never good with confrontation. “W-well how was I supposed to know! You’re beautiful so...you’ve probably had lots of people confess to you…” Mika blushes as he lowers his voice. “Y-ya but...I’ve never done anything like this before…” Shu can feel his heart rate pick up again, something about this being new for both of them brought him ease but also made him even more nervous.</p><p>“T-Then was that your first kiss-”</p><p>Mika cuts him off immediately.</p><p>“Ah, no.”</p><p>“Oh? Didn’t you <em>just</em> say you haven’t gone this far before?” His eyelids lower in disappointment and slight resentment.</p><p>“W-Well ya! With...touching...I haven’t…”</p><p>Then there it is, that mischievous gleam in his eyes that only came out before his teasing that Shu always pretended didn’t affect him.</p><p>“Shu...was this your first-''</p><p>He realizes what he is going to say before he even finishes.</p><p>“Absolutely not!”</p><p>Although it sounded like a defensive lie in reality it wasn’t, he had his first kiss long ago, with someone he’d rather not remember. Mika immediately looks disappointed.</p><p>“Eh? Really...with who?”</p><p>Shu lifts his head up dismissively, not wanting to talk about this right now.</p><p>“You wouldn’t know them…”</p><p>Mika makes a doubtful face.</p><p>“Well that makes it sound like yer lyin’...”</p><p>Shu flicks his forehead, lightly though.</p><p>“Ack!”</p><p>He blushes as he snaps at him mildly.</p><p>“Don’t call me a liar! ...It’s just someone I’d rather not talk about...especially not right now.”</p><p>“ ‘Kay sorry...do you still want to-''</p><p>Shu furrows his brows, overwhelmed with embarrassment and want.</p><p>“Fuck’s sake!”</p><p>Mika immediately flinches, even though Shu scolded him for cursing he certainly didn’t apply the same principles to himself.</p><p>“How much longer are you going to dawdle around! H-Hurry up and touch me…”</p><p>He doesn’t need to be told again and brings them into another heavy kiss while moving his hands to finish unbuttoning Shu’s top. Mika pulls back to see better and Shu moves his head to the side out of embarrassment. His low-lidded eyes fly open as he notices something he should have long ago.</p><p> </p><p>“MADEMOISELLE!!”</p><p>Flinching hard, Mika pulls back immediately.</p><p>“Huh?! What!?”</p><p>Shu shifts under Mika trying to free himself, Mika letting him go. He snatches her off the bedside table quickly covering her eyes, no way a lady such as herself could be present while they do such. Although it may be a bit late for that.</p><p>“Give me a moment! Mademoiselle cannot be present while we-just give me a second!”</p><p>Mika sits on the bed in shock.</p><p>“ ‘K-Kay…”</p><p>Shu springs off the bed before running off to find someone to place her. He couldn’t leave the room in his current state but he also had to put her somewhere far enough where she wouldn’t be exposed to them. He then remembers a large storage closet that’s tucked behind the wall.</p><p>(...Forgive me Mademoiselle…)</p><p>Despite what he’d like to do, he places her inside the cabinet before carefully shutting the doors. She deserved to be treated much better than this but Shu was sure he was going to die if Mika didn’t start touching him again so this would have to do for now.</p><p> </p><p>Eyes still wide from shock, Mika tracks him as Shu makes his way back to the bed, sighing heavily as he sits back down. Mika speaks his voice wavering. “D-do ya still wanna-” Shu turns quickly and brings him into another heated kiss. They shift back into their position from before while clinging and kissing one another, slightly out of breath but not willing to pull back. Taking his hand into his own, Shu moves it down to his crotch as he’s sure Mika wouldn’t do it himself. Mika’s hand twitches as he palms over him, Shu moaning into the kiss as he does. Moving out from the grasp Mika begins undoing his pants as Shu quickly goes to do the same; their arms bumping into each other from the hastiness. He groans as the pressure eases up around him and Mika whines in his throat feeling the same.</p><p>Placing his hand on his chest, Mika slowly moves his hand down and under Shu’s boxers; finally taking hold of him. Shu immediately lets out a high pitched moan, one that certainly didn’t suit him. Mika stares at him, eyes full of lust, as he tightens his grip. He gasps out at the grasp, fisting his hands and moving them up to his face. Mika moves slowly before moving his thumb over to the top pressing hard before pulling back and doing it again playing with the pre-cum. Shu unfists his hands to cover his face, he really hadn’t noticed how aroused he had gotten and it was all the more embarrassing now. “Hah...Shu yer already so-” Stuttering between breaths, Shu stops him from finishing.</p><p>“S-Shut it! Don’t... Don’t say it…”</p><p>He peeks through his fingers to look up at Mika, his face bright red as his chest heaves above him. Shu moves one hand up to his forehead and the other down to the edge of Mika’s boxers before sliding his hand under, taking a hold of him as well. He can instantly feel how warm he is and the pre-cum at his tip. Despite being such a gentle touch Mika’s head snaps back as he almost screams moaning. Shu immediately freaks out.</p><p>“A-Are you okay?! I didn’t hurt you did I?! I didn’t mean to do it that-”</p><p>“No, no, no, no.... ‘m fine just...f-fuck…”</p><p>He takes a deep breath calming himself down as Mika does the same.</p><p>(We’re touching one another but somehow...it’s not enough…)</p><p>Mika regains control of myself and starts squeezing harder causing Shu to break his train of thought and bite down on his free hand as it fists together. Overcome with emotion he speaks without thinking.</p><p>“F-Fuck...fuck me…”</p><p>Hand twitching again, Mika goes wide eyed but only for a moment before struggling to tear off the bottom half of his clothing. Shu does the same wiggling his way out of his clothes. With his shirt falling off his shoulders he notices Mika still has his top intact and reaches forwards to pull it off but Mika flinches away as he does.</p><p>“S-Sorry! I just...m'ribs stick out so…”</p><p>Not wanting to make him uncomfortable, he backs off.</p><p>“Don’t apologize...but at least take off some layers; I don’t want you overheating…”</p><p>Mika smiles sheepishly before shrugging off his blazer and tugging off his vest and tie leaving him with only the white undershirt. He holds himself for a moment before giving Shu a heartfelt smile.</p><p>(So beautiful...) "just like an angel…”</p><p>Mika’s face instantly reddens as he grips his shirt tightly. Realizing he had said it out loud, Shu slaps his hands over his face to hide his embarrassment. It only lasts for a moment though as he soon feels soft lips kissing his hands. Mika holds them pulling them away from his face and kisses the back of one.</p><p>“...You can be surprisingly romantic if you try…”</p><p>Giggling, Mika beams at him before putting his own fingers in his mouth, licking them slightly and then reaching down to touch him once again. Breath catching, Shu exhales shakily.</p><p> </p><p>Moving his hand further down Mika starts applying pressure, causing Shu to grab onto the pillow next to him and shove his face into it. He nearly screams with pleasure into the pillow as his finger goes in. Mika leans in close to kiss his cheek, lightly moving his finger around. Shu turns his head so that they can kiss properly as he whimpers and whines into the kiss. Mika presses another finger against him, it soon going in as well. Snaking his hands under his shirt and up to his shoulders, Shu sinks his nails into Mika’s back. Groaning, Mika adds a third finger and Shu breaks away from the kiss hastily to bury his face into Mika’s shoulder. Kissing his head, Mika speaks to confirm.</p><p>“Hah... A-Are ya doin’ ok…?”</p><p>Frantically nodding his head into his shoulder, while biting the fabric to mask his moans, Shu slurs out speech.</p><p>“Y-Yes just- ah~! Hah…p-please…”</p><p>Removing his fingers, Mika takes a hold of himself but pauses for a moment looking around. Shu gasps out desperately as he does and groans impatiently.</p><p>“H-H-Hurry up…”</p><p>Looking away, Mika speaks, his voice low.</p><p>“W-We don’t have any lube and I don’t wanna hurt ya…”</p><p>Shu tries not to curse out again but fails and mutters under his breath. “Fuck!” The remorseful expression on Mika’s face fades as his eyes perk up.</p><p>“H-Here um…”</p><p>Looking up at him confused, he watches as Mika spits, the saliva pool down onto his hand. Shu flushes as he tries to express his disgust but he also can’t handle it anymore so he decides to turn away instead. Taking himself into his hand, Mika shutters as he coats himself with his spit. Placing himself at the right level he slowly guides himself into Shu. Not being ready, Shu cries out desperately clutching the pillow. Guiding himself further Mika finally moves his hips to push into him as they finally become one.</p><p>Shu sobs out into the pillow, tears falling down his face. Mika moans at the sensation pulsing over him, his eyes also watering.</p><p>“Nn... A-Are ya okay…? Hng... D-Does it hurt…?”</p><p>Nuzzling and shaking his head into the pillow Shu tries to speak although his speech comes off slightly incomprehensible.</p><p>“Hah... N-No...I- fine... K-Keep...fuck…”</p><p>Swallowing hard, Mika nods before gently moving his hips, his arms shaking as he tries to support himself. They both moan vehemently as Mika begins moving faster, being consumed by lust. Unable to control any part of himself Shu let’s his thoughts rapidly spew out.</p><p>“M-Mika...you...ah! F-Fuck… you feel so- hah...nng…f-faster-”</p><p>Losing himself as well, Mika starts frantically moving his hips as Shu jolts and takes ahold on his arm. Mika heavily leans into him as he moves his hand to interlace their fingers, his speed increasing every second. At this point Shu couldn’t even care if his family hears him because it feels so good that all he can do is cry out. Mika is equally a mess, sputtering and slurring his words as he calls out his name.</p><p>“S-Sh-Shu...Sh-nn~Shu...I-I...love...hah…”</p><p>Holding his hand as tightly as he can, Shu moans and gasps for air.</p><p>“M-M...I...M-Mika...love- ah~! I...love...y-”</p><p>Mika basically falls onto him to desperately try and kiss him, shoving his tongue in his mouth and rapidly twirling it around. Using his free hand, Shu holds his head and pushes them closer together, barely leaving room to breathe. Shu shifts his head away from the kiss and they break away. His voice is so ragged and full of pleasure that he can’t control himself.</p><p>“M-Mika! I-I...love you...so...f-fucking much...s-shit...ah~! I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I’m-”</p><p>Mika slurs his speech trying to talk as well.</p><p>“ ‘m sorry I-I can’t...hah...nn..m-me too I...love.-- you- ah~! Hah... ’m gonna-”</p><p>Pulling him down to kiss once more they both lose themselves, screaming with pleasure into the kiss. Shu’s warm fluid covering both their stomachs as Mika collapses into him. They both twitch in each other's arms as Shu can feel the overbearing heat still inside him. Both of their breathing ragged and scratchy.</p><p>They lay there for a moment, collecting themselves. Mika shifts his legs back to remove himself from Shu. Feeling the stickiness between them, Shu desperately tries not to let the embarrassment and shame overtake him, knowing that Mika’s uniform is now ruined. Mika kisses his forehead before falling into his arms once again, chest still heaving. With his eyes low-lidded, Shu looks up at the ceiling lights, it’s illumination blinding him but this time isn’t not unwelcomed. Mika’s cowlicks visible in the corner of his eyes, he lifts a finger to play with them. Nuzzling into his chest Mika purrs like a cat, making Shu laugh slightly. Still out of breath, Mika mumbles into his chest. his words still managing to fluster him after all they've done.</p><p>“I love ya Shu…”</p><p>“I-I love you too...Mika…”</p><p>Brows furrowing, Mika squirms around on top of him.</p><p>“Nn... 'ts hot…”</p><p>Shu breathes out a laugh trying to push Mika off of him but he only latches onto him harder. Sighing deeply, he closes his eyes. As they both begin to drift asleep due to exhaustion, his mind fades away.</p><p>(I know I said it may only be for this very moment but...I’m sure I will love you for the rest of my life.)</p><p> </p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Bonus:</p><p>~Time Skip~</p><p> </p><p>He can hear the keys rattling against the door to try and open them, even after all this time Mika was still clumsy as ever. The door creaks open as Shu looks to the entrance way. Mika slips off his shoes before looking up and giving him a big smile while running up to embrace him. Placing his hand behind his back, Shu gives him a kiss on the cheek to welcome him back.</p><p>“ ’m home~!”</p><p>Shu pets his head.</p><p>“Welcome back.”</p><p>Mika gleams at him and lifts a bag up, practically shoving it into his face.</p><p>“I bought ya croissants on my way back!”</p><p>Surprised, Shu gives him a warm smile. Reaching out to grab the bag he stops to thumb over Mika’s ring instead. Eyelids drooping he smiles once again.</p><p>“Thank you, my love.”</p><p>Throwing himself into his chest Mika nuzzles into him. Getting slightly flustered Shu pets his head again as Mika pulls back.</p><p>“W-Well then...should we enjoy these together?”</p><p>Giving him another bright smile Mika takes his hand, matching their bands together.</p><p>“Yup~! Let’s go!”</p><p>He drags Shu towards their kitchen, still holding the bag. His figure stands out against the lights, but they only illuminate him further. While it goes unseen by Mika, Shu let’s himself smile deeply.</p><p> </p><p>(For this moment and forever, I will always love you.)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yes they are both idiots and cry during sex what about it? </p><p>My Twitter where I talk about MikaShu nonstop and post demos for fics I am working on: @Chie61361103</p></blockquote></div></div>
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